


you're my favorite name to say

by payneclinic



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Liam loves Niall, M/M, Pining, niall loves liam, oblivious boys, then there's sex, they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:04:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/payneclinic/pseuds/payneclinic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall loves Liam, Liam loves Niall, they're both idiots, and Zayn is exhausted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're my favorite name to say

Niall couldn’t really pinpoint the moment it happened. He never really felt his universe shift, or gravity reorient itself, or any of that shit that happens in those books he’ll never admit to reading. He just remembers waking up at four in the morning one day and thinking _oh_. He didn’t panic about it. He didn’t even get out of bed, checking his phone for the time and immediately falling back asleep.

Hours later, he awoke again to the chiming of his alarm. The first rays of morning were shining into his window and he mourned for all the days he used to stay in bed until noon, only getting up when the sun was high in the sky. Still lying in bed, he scrolled through Twitter until he absolutely _had_ to get up. He grabbed for the first clothes he saw, dressing quickly and grabbing a cereal bar on his way out the door.

The sleek black car parked outside his house seemed out of place against the greys and soft pastels of early morning. When he hopped in the car he got a nice and mercifully short greeting from Basil before they were off. He tried hard not to doze off on the short drive but often found his eyelids closing of their own accord. It wasn’t his fault, really. Falling asleep in the car was to be expected when he had to wake up at the bloody crack of dawn. He was jostled awake when they pulled into the building where tour rehearsals were being held. There were paps outside already and he groaned, not ready or willing to deal with the cameras at this time of day. He ducked his head as he speed-walked from the car to the door, flashing a quick grin at the few fans standing off to the side.

The place was fairly large, with a stage and sound equipment set up and a couple of couches off to the side. He could see Zayn on one of those couches, probably fast asleep. Harry was the only other boy there, talking to some of the crew and sipping a cup of coffee. He noticed Niall come in and waved. Niall nodded back, going to grab his guitar from Basil and start tuning it.

He was ready to go and beginning to strum out the chorus to 18 when Liam walked in. Something deep and calming settled in his chest, soothing him from the inside out. He had almost forgotten about his little revelation this morning, but Liam’s appearance had reminded him of it immediately. He watched as Liam scanned the room and nodded at Harry before finding Niall and instantly smiling and walking over to him. It gave Niall a sort of pride at how Liam chose him over everyone else to approach. The boy looked sleepy and worn, but in the best of ways. His cheeks were still rosy from sleep and the snapback placed lazily atop his head didn’t exactly hide the bedhead he was sporting. Niall’s chest tightened irrationally as he realized that the snapback was the Batman one he had bought for Liam years back.

“Hey, Payno,” he said, easy.

“Nialler,” Liam replied, sitting down next to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders. Niall didn’t remember the last time anyone but Liam had called him Nialler, but then again he didn’t really take notice of anyone but Liam these days so he could’ve just missed it. The two sat in silence, though Niall could feel Liam vibrating with all the questions he was probably itching to ask. No doubt Liam was refraining from asking these questions because he knew how horrible Niall’s patience was in the morning. He smiled to himself at how well Liam knew him.

“We’ll catch up later, yeah? Soon?” he suggested, feeling Liam relax as he nodded.

Louis arrived not much after and Zayn was woken up so that rehearsals could begin. Niall had already been rehearsing these songs for days with the band, but he preferred having the boys there as well. Rehearsals were much more fun when the five of them could goof around together between – and during – songs.

Their sound guys had to work on a specific chorus with Liam, Harry, and Louis, so Niall went over to the side of the stage to sit with Zayn.

“Alright, Niall?”

“Yeah, yeah. Found out something new today, actually,” he mused.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“I like Liam. Like, _like_ Liam,” he stated simply.

“Yeah? Just figured that out today did you?” Zayn chuckled.

“I guess so. Kind of just sprung up on me this morning. Not sure what I’m gonna do about it yet.”

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Not particularly. Just thought I should tell someone and knew you’d be the chillest about it.”

“Yeah, don’t think Harry or Lou would’ve let you leave today without confessing your feelings to him. But if you ever get to wanting to talk about it I’m here for you.”

“You’re always there for me, aren’t you?” Niall teased, unable to hold back the overwhelming fondness he felt for Zayn.

“Yep, always,” he replied, ruffling Niall’s hair a bit. Niall turned his attention back to the three boys on stage. He knew he didn’t have to ask Zayn not to tell anyone, trusted fully that the conversation would stay between the two of them just as so many before had. After four years with the band, Niall knew which boy to go to for each of his problems. Zayn was the one he went to if he needed to get something off his chest, but didn’t want to make a huge deal about it. He went to Harry if he needed advice on something. If he wanted to forget what was bugging him, he went to Louis. And Liam was there whenever he needed to vent or a shoulder to cry on. It was a pretty great system and probably the sole reason he hadn’t gone insane yet.

The rest of the rehearsal was uneventful. They wrapped it up around noon and Niall was heading out, planning his afternoon nap and humming under his breath, when he was intercepted by Liam. He looked almost sheepish when he asked if Niall wanted to go back to his place, and Niall was in no position to say no to a blushing Liam Payne. (In all honestly, he was never in a position to say no to Liam.) The spark of joy on Liam’s face reminded Niall of those days when they were first starting out, when Liam was so obviously afraid of rejection and ridicule. Niall clung to him more than strictly necessary in the beginning, always trying to reassure Liam and make sure he felt included and needed and loved. He was rewarded with Liam’s fierce loyalty and trust, a gift he promised himself never to lose.

He texted Basil to tell him he would be going to Liam’s and didn’t need a ride back and got back a _Figured you would, haven’t even left yet if I’m honest_. The text made him laugh so he showed it to Liam, who’s eyes crinkled wonderfully as he chuckled and murmured something about the guards knowing them all “far too well.” They talked easily as they escaped out the back of the building and walked to Liam’s car.

“They let you drive yourself?” Niall asked.

“Yeah,” Liam laughed, “they trust me to be on time without needing a minder.”

Niall opened his mouth to refute the point but realized he had no ground to stand on and just shrugged. The ride back to Liam’s was short, made even shorter by Liam’s lead foot and his tendency to weave through traffic. Sometimes when he drove with Liam he liked to picture 17-year-old Liam in the back seat, clutching the seat for dear life and mumbling passive aggressively about how they were all going to die. It was probably an exaggeration, but it made Niall happy to think about how much more adventurous and less reserved Liam had become in these past couple years.

“You keep checking out on me, Horan,” Liam teased.

“Never have had the best attention span, have I?”

“Not really, no. But usually you tell me when I’m starting to bore you.”

“Aw, you never bore me, Li. I just get caught up in my own head sometimes, you know?”

Liam nodded knowingly as they pulled into the parking garage for his flat. Niall hopped out and went to the door, waiting as Liam punched in the code Niall had memorized years ago and then turned the key – identical to the one sitting in a bowl in Niall’s kitchen – in the lock. Niall wasn’t really sure if the other boys had keys to Liam’s flat. He just knew that the first day he came to visit Liam in his new home he was handed a shiny new key and a small piece of paper with a six-digit code printed neatly on it. He remembers the weight of them in his hand and in his heart – a physical representation of Liam’s trust.

Niall walked in and slipped out of his shoes, plopping down on the couch and letting the familiar smell wash over him. It was always interesting to Niall what people’s homes smelled like. Liam’s flat was blueberry pancakes, his cologne, and citrus cleaning product; it was a combination that shouldn’t go together but somehow worked. It settled Niall, being immersed in Liam’s space.

Liam sauntered in, kicking his shoes off and making a quick detour through the kitchen before sitting down next to Niall and spreading a variety of take-out menus on his coffee table. Niall glanced at them before picking up the one for their favorite Thai restaurant. Liam called the number as Niall flicked through the channels, not bothering to ask Niall for his order when he already knew it by heart.

“Twenty minutes, they said,” he stated, easing into Niall’s side. It was then that Niall realized he should probably be nervous or something, being this close to the guy he was probably in love with. But the nervousness never came. He knew he was safe with Liam. He knew that even though Liam would probably reject him if he ever found out, he would never stop being Niall’s best mate. He was sure Liam would never find out, anyways. And besides, Niall had probably been in love with Liam for years. Just because he finally figured it out this morning didn’t mean he had to change his behavior around him.

“The Office or Next Great Baker?” Niall asked.

“Neither. Just put a movie in or something.”

“Nope, I’ve already sat down and now I’m too comfortable to get up. You have to choose.”

Liam rolled his eyes but obliged, grabbing the remote and flipping it to The Office.

“So tell me about your break,” Liam requested.

“Pretty quiet, actually. Stayed in London for most of it, then flew back home for Christmas. Mum asked me about a million questions while Greg yelled at me for spoiling Theo with his presents. Typical holiday, I guess,” he said with a shrug. “What about you?”

“Boring, like always. Hung around with Andy and them and stayed at my parent’s house for a while. Nothing really interesting.”

“Well aren’t we just a lively pair? Funny to think about how we have more fun working than we do on holiday,” Niall chuckled.

“I think that’s to be expected when ‘work’ is travelling the world to sing sold out shows with your four best mates. Nothing you can really do on holidays to top playing to a full arena.”

“Suppose that’s true.”

They sat back and mindlessly watched the show until the takeout arrived. Liam hopped up to get it and spread it out over the table. Niall dug in immediately, hungry from the day of rehearsals.

“So did you meet anyone, uh, _interesting_ over break?” Liam asked when they were settled, tipping his head slightly to the side. Niall knew what exactly he was asking, but he wanted to play with Liam a little bit first.

“Well I met a bloke in a pub who owned a goat farm, he was pretty interesting. The guy was about eighty years old and could out-drink me.”

Liam grinned but shook his head. “You know what I meant, Niall.”

“What, you don’t want to hear about my new friend?” Liam just raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Alright, alright. No one _interesting_ for me. What about you?”

“Nah, not really. Kind of tried to pull but no luck.”

“Yeah? Get turned down?”

“Kind of,” he said with a shrug. “He had a girlfriend.”

“Oh, going for the blokes?” He knew Liam fancied boys and girls, but he’d never seen Liam try to pick a guy up. It was almost enough to get Niall’s hopes up. Almost.

“Yeah, he was fit so I thought I’d give it a go.”

“What’d he look like?” Niall asked, praying he wasn’t giving too much away by asking all of these questions.

“Lean, kind of on the shorter side, blue eyed blonde.”

“Huh,” Niall hummed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged, “just doesn’t really sound like your type. You’ve kind of got a history with tall girls with brown hair and brown eyes, Payno.”

“Guess I’ve got a different type when it comes to blokes,” he replied simply. Niall absolutely didn’t choke on his pad Thai. He did not.

The rest of the afternoon was normal. Niall resolutely did not think about Liam’s bar escapade. They talked and laughed and flipped through stupid television shows and Niall couldn’t have enjoyed himself more. He left a couple hours later, hopping into a cab and immediately calling Zayn.

Zayn answered with his typical, “Hey babes, y’alright?”

“Nope. Absolutely not.”

“What’s wrong?” Zayn asked, sounding exasperated.

“Remember that conversation we had today? The one I didn’t want to talk about?” he asked, half-panicked.

“Sure.”

“Well I want to talk about it.”

“Alright well what –”

“He tried to hook up with a bloke over break!” he interrupted.

“Well he’s bisexual so that –”

“He said the guy was short with blonde hair and blue eyes!”

“Isn’t that good for –”

“So I made a comment about how his usual type is girls with brown hair and brown eyes and then he had the nerve to say that he has a different ‘type’ for guys! What the hell did he want me to do with that?” Niall practically screamed.

“Wait, back up. I don’t understand the problem.”

“The _problem_ is that I could have been perfectly happy pining over him while being his best friend when I knew there wasn’t a chance. But now all my chill has flown out the fucking window because he’s gone and given me _hope_ ,” he spit the last word out as if it were a curse.

“Hope is bad?” Zayn asked, clearly confused.

“Hope is very bad. Hope leads to me doing something stupid like asking him out. And me asking him out leads to me getting rejected in the most awkward of ways. And the worst part about getting rejected by Liam is that you _know_ he would beat himself up about it _forever_. He is physically incapable of hurting anyone. Hell, maybe he’d even pretend to like me back and agree to go out with me and be trapped in a relationship because he didn’t want to actually turn me down. He’s just too fucking good of a person, you know? Like –”

“Niall, if you’re gonna freak out I’m gonna make you call Harry. Or maybe Louis, he can get you high enough to not care,” Zayn interrupted.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just don’t really want Harry or Louis knowing about this. Better for less people to know, at this point. Look, I’m pulling into my drive now, I’m just gonna hang out and try not to think about it for tonight,” he sighed.

“Yeah, okay. Hey, you know you can call me if you need me, right? Like, even if you’re freaking out or whatever.”

“Of course, Z. Like I said, you’re always there for me.”

“Good. Talk to you later.”

Niall hung up the phone and paid the driver. He looked up and was surprised to see how dark it had gotten. It wasn’t pitch black yet, though; one of those odd times where the moon was out but he could still see the sun just over the horizon. The air was brisk and it helped him calm down a bit, sending a chill deep through his bones. He still felt a little dizzy as he walked into his house. His heart lurched when he checked his phone and saw a text from Liam asking if he got home alright. Tapping out an affirmative, he tried to find the willpower to not chuck his phone across the room.

His hands shook violently as he paced around his living room trying to figure out what he should do. He heard the ping of his incoming text message and debated on ignoring it. _Probably just Greg anyways,_ he thought. But when he went to unlock his phone he saw Liam’s name again.

“Oh for the love of Christ,” he groaned, “he’s _trying_ to kill me now.”

The text simply read _funky buddha tmrrw b there @ 9_

Niall slammed his head against the wall as he replied with _sounds good !_

He ate some cold pizza and watched Friends reruns all night until he finally fell asleep on the couch.

 

The majority of the next day was spent pacing around the house and trying to decide whether or not he should call Zayn for help. He caved at around four. Zayn made him do a couple deep breathing exercises before giving him a few tips and wishing him luck. It was helpful, but Niall still had five hours to sit around his house and panic before leaving.

It was around eight when he picked out his outfit. Then picked out another outfit. Then changed the pants. Then contemplated buying a new shirt. Then texted Zayn again, who replied with _mother of fuck he’s seen you in a green sweat suit. I think the opportunity to impress him with your style skills has passed_ , which was true but not exactly helpful. He settled on an outfit and was out the door by nine, perfectly timed to be late enough to be cool, but not so late that it hurt Liam’s feelings. It was kind of funny, how most of his decisions hung in the balance of trying to be cool but trying to make Liam happy. In the end, he always seemed to go with making Liam happy instead of being cool. He found that he didn’t really care about anyone’s approval as long as he had Liam’s.

The music was vibrating the club walls when he walked in, going straight for the VIP section he knew Liam would be in. Liam was sitting at the bar, chatting idly with a few of his friends. Niall recognized Tom and Andy out of the small group. Liam’s eyes had been scanning the room as Niall approached, and he jumped up and waved when he saw Niall. _Dork,_ Niall commented fondly in his head.

“Niall! Wasn’t sure if you were gonna make it!” he exclaimed, pulling Niall into a one-armed embrace. Niall laughed and checked the time on his phone.

“I’m fifteen minutes late, Payno.”

“Yeah but I was here fifteen minutes early, so you’re thirty minutes behind me!”

“Alright,” Niall sighed, knowing he would never win this battle, “let me buy you a drink to make up for it.”

“I think that would be the gentlemanly thing to do,” Liam chuckled. Niall raised his eyebrows at that.

“Oh? Are we on a date now?” he teased lightly. With anyone else he might’ve been pushing it, but Liam had been joking about dating Niall for _years_ now, so it was normal banter. But Liam just blushed and ducked his head. _Odd._ Niall shrugged it off and walked to the bar to order them each a drink.

He brought the drinks back to the table the group was now standing around. Liam threw him a smile and wink when he handed him his drink. Niall felt a punch of fondness when Liam winked at him, remembering the times when Liam couldn’t wink and how long it took him to learn. The day when Liam burst into his hotel room at two in the morning just to wink exaggeratedly at him was one of his favorite memories.

Niall was pulled out of his reminiscing by Tom, getting him into a conversation about footie and what he thought everyone’s chances would be this year. He liked chatting with Tom, but Liam was talking about something right next to him, hands gesturing wildly and face lighting up. _Telling a story, no doubt. Probably one only he thinks is funny,_ he mused. He turned his attention fully to Liam when he heard his name.

“Talking shit about me, Payno?” he asked, nudging Liam’s shoulder.

“Just telling everyone about the time you told David Beckham he was hot,” he laughed.

“Oh shove off, we were both thinking it! And it’s not like I’m the first bloke to tell him he’s hot. Hell, I’m probably not even the first bloke in One Direction to tell him he’s hot.” The group laughed and Liam just _beamed_.

Niall pretty much stuck to Liam the rest of the night. Liam didn’t seem to mind, though. He slung his arm around Niall’s shoulders and kept it there. Niall was far too sober for this, but there wasn’t really much he could do about that unless he wanted to call a cab and leave his car here for the night. He switched to water after a couple drinks, watching as Liam kept the alcohol flowing. It was about half-past two when Liam started trying to pull him out on the dance floor and Niall decided it was time to go.

“Alright, Payno, let’s get you a cab,” he laughed.

“Noooo,” Liam whined, “just take me home.” Niall rolled his eyes at him. Liam’s flat wasn’t exactly on the way to his house, but it’s not like he couldn’t take a detour.

“Alright, Liam, I’ll take you to your –”

“Nope,” he interrupted, “I’m too drunk to be alone. We should go to your place.” Niall knew he could’ve protested. He could’ve pointed out that Liam wasn’t really _that_ drunk. He could’ve called him a cab. He could’ve sent him home with one of his friends. He had options. But the music was pounding and he’d spent the whole night with Liam plastered to his side and his resolve was crumbling. Rolling his eyes, more for show than anything, he grabbed Liam’s wrist and dragged him out to the car. He resolutely did not think about how close they were to holding hands.

Liam babbled on the whole car ride, as he tended to do when he was a little tipsy. Niall didn’t mind, though. There was something about listening to Liam that was oddly calming. He had always been tuned in to Liam, always listened very carefully to him. In the beginning it seemed like no one was ever really paying attention to Liam – what with Louis too busy trying to make everyone laugh, Harry too busy being the center of attention, and Zayn too busy being perfect – so Niall tried to zone in on what Liam was saying so he never felt ignored. He never really dropped the habit, even when everyone else mellowed out and began to listen to Liam, too.

“Alright, let’s get your drunk ass inside, Payne,” he laughed when they pulled into the driveway. Liam giggled – he actually giggled, because that is an actual thing that Liam actually does – and got out to follow him in the house. He followed him all the way into the bedroom. Niall assumed he was just looking for sleep clothes, so he grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt and threw them at him. Liam pulled them on and sprawled out on the bed. Niall just gaped at him, frozen halfway through pulling his shirt over his head. Liam really wasn’t _this_ drunk.

“Uh, sleeping here tonight?” The nervousness had to be apparent in his voice, but Liam either didn’t pick up on it or didn’t really care.

“Yeah, fancy a cuddle?” he asked, like it was a simple question. Well, it kind of _was_ a simple question. It wasn’t like it was his first time sharing a bed with Liam. It _was_ the first time sharing a bed with Liam since he figured out how he felt about him. It’s not like he could really turn it down, though. Liam Payne was in his bed looking soft in sweatpants and asking for cuddles. There probably wasn’t a soul on earth who could turn down that offer. So he forced his muscles to move so he could pull his shirt on the rest of the way and flop down next to Liam on the bed.

_Alright,_ he thought, _I can do this. Just like sleeping alone, except I have about half the space. I don’t take up that much space anyways, and – Jesus Christ what the hell is he doing?_

“Budge up, Nialler,” Liam mumbled, throwing his arm over Niall’s waist and pulling him into his chest. Now Niall was sprawled on his back with Liam curled up against his side and it was both comforting and terrifying. His mind was quiet but his heart was racing, like he took a sedative and a stimulant at the same time.

Liam was out in seconds. Niall could feel his breath evening out from where Liam’s head was tucked up under his chin. Liam’s arm around him felt nice. Protective, even. This kind of protective tendency wasn’t uncommon at all for Liam. For as much as Niall tried to look after Liam emotionally, Liam’s protection over Niall was more physical, tangible. It was just little touches and movements – Liam keeping an arm around his shoulders when they were in interviews, putting a hand on the small of his back when they were being mobbed, softly squeezing his hand before a big performance – but somehow they were always comforting and reassuring. Niall nodded off eventually, half-imagining what it would be like to be able to fall asleep like this every night.

He woke up to big brown eyes staring back at him and gasped.

“Did I scare ya, Ni?” Liam laughed. Niall just smiled slightly and nodded, figuring _no I was just taken aback by how fucking handsome you are_ would be an inappropriate response.

“Well I would say we should go get some breakfast, but it’s noon and you probably have things to do so I’ll get out of your hair.” He was buzzing around the room to grab his phone and clothes. “You don’t mind if I take these, do you?” he asked, gesturing to the shirt and sweatpants he was wearing.

“No, ‘course not. Think those trackies are yours, anyways,” Niall replied, shaking his head a little.

“Thanks, mate. I’m gonna head out, but I’ll see you later, yeah?” Niall nodded and smiled at him. He froze when Liam leaned down and kissed his cheek, lingering for half a second before he was up and out the door yelling a “Bye, babe!” as he left.

Niall sat there in a daze for what could’ve been hours. When he finally snapped out of it he tried valiantly to resist calling Zayn. He broke and called him after a couple minutes when he realized that he _needed_ to talk to someone about this. He called Zayn twice but got no answer. He tried to wait for Zayn to call him back, but he couldn’t help himself from calling Harry – who also didn’t answer. He waited another ten seconds before finally calling Louis. Niall was fairly surprised when he picked up on the second ring.

“Hey Niall, y’alright?”

“I like Liam. Like, _like_ Liam. Probably in love with him. And that’s fine. I’m at peace with it. But now he’s _teasing_ me or something. The other day I went over to his house and he was talking about some bloke he was trying to pull who he described as being smaller with blond hair and blue eyes. Then he invited me to the club and stayed next to me the whole night.Then he slept here. Because he was drunk. But he really wasn’t that drunk. And then he, like, cuddled with me. In my bed. Then he woke up and kissed me on the cheek and called me babe and left. What’s he doing to me?”

“Wow. That’s a lot to take in. But, uh, that kind of sounds like his typical behavior with you, Niall,” Louis said. Niall could practically _hear_ the shrug in his voice.

“Holy fuck, you’re right,” he said, everything clicking to place in his head. “He’s been teasing me for _years_!”

“Well, I wouldn’t say _teasing_.”

“What _would_ you say, then?”

“Flirting,” Louis replied, plain and simple.

“You think he’s been _flirting_ with me this whole time?”

“We all do, Niall. He’s kind of obvious about it,” he sighed.

“And none of you thought to tell me this?” Niall half-yelled back.

“We kind of thought you knew…”

“Of course I didn’t know! I’ve been freaking out and asking Zayn for advice all week! Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“Well you gotta remember that Zayn’s not just your friend, Niall. He’s Liam’s, too. And he probably made a promise to Liam that he wouldn’t say anything to you. Granted, he probably should’ve made an exception here, but you know how Zayn is. He’d never break someone’s trust like that.”

“You’re right. But fuck, do you really think Liam likes me?” he asked, cringing at how similar he sounded to some love-struck preteen.

“Yes. But there’s only one way to know for sure. Ask him.”

“Louis, I don’t think I can just – ”

“Niall, trust me. Ask him.” Niall didn’t get a reply in before Louis hung up. He tried to think back to all of his and Liam’s interactions, wondering how much flirting he could’ve passed off as Liam just being nice or friendly or tactile. There was a lot. Like, _a lot_ a lot.

He spent the rest of the day pacing around his flat and stress-eating all the crisps in his cupboard. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. Wait for Liam to tell him? Ask Liam? Tell Liam how he feels? Forget it and go back to pining in silence? The last option seemed most attractive at this point. His chest got tight and his breathing quickened every time he even entertained the notion of telling Liam how he feels. The fear of rejection lingered heavily in the pit of his stomach, weighing down his every movement. He got calls back from Zayn and Harry but he couldn’t pick them up. He couldn’t talk to anyone until he talked to Liam. But he couldn’t talk to Liam if he didn’t know what he was going to say.

It was just then that he remembered they had rehearsals again tomorrow. So he could either call Liam now to talk or spend all of tomorrow avoiding him at all costs. He chose the latter, chickening out every time his finger hovered over the _call_ button on Liam’s contact.

He never really got to sleep, falling into what was more of a fitful nap than anything. His alarm woke him up and he groggily rolled out of bed changed into a different pair of sweatpants and throw a hat on. When he plopped down in the passenger seat of the car they sent for him (despite his complaints that Liam got to drive himself) he pleaded with Basil to drop him off at the back door rather than the front. Basil looked like he wanted to argue but he turned around and took one look at Niall before nodding.

He got in through the back door quickly and with no troubles and immediately dropped onto one of the couches, pulling his hat down over his face.

“Niall, you never called me back!” he heard Harry exclaim, sounding like he was moving closer to him. “Are you seriously hung over right now?”

“Not hung over. Tired. Got no sleep last night,” he mumbled.

“Oh,” Harry’s voice dropped to something not much louder than a whisper, “is it about what you told Louis?”

“Christ, does he have to go and tell everyone everything?”

“Not everyone, just me. I called him and asked if he’d talked to you. And he said he had, so naturally I wanted to know what you were calling about. And you _know_ Louis isn’t one for keeping secrets,” he replied curtly.

“Okay, whatever, I don’t really care as long as you don’t say anything about it to Liam.”

“But you are going to talk to him about it, aren’t you?”

“Wasn’t really planning on it,” Niall said back, rolling his eyes before he realized that they were still hidden by the hat over his face.

“This isn’t something you should be running from, Niall. Just talk to him, okay?” Harry pleaded.

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

Harry must’ve been satisfied with that answer because he left Niall’s side to go chat to some of the crew. Niall actually dozed off for a few minutes on the couch before being woken up by – _of fucking course_ – Liam.

“Time to get up, Nialler. Everyone’s here and ready to go,” he chirped. Niall’s heart skipped a beat, just as it always did and probably always would when Liam used his nickname. He didn’t exactly trust himself to talk without blurting out everything he was feeling, so he just nodded and gave what was probably a shitty half-smile before practically sprinting to his place. He was handed his guitar and it was fairly easy to get lost in the rehearsals for the next couple hours. All he had to do was refrain from talking to Liam, or looking at Liam, or concentrating too hard on how perfect Liam’s voice was. _Simple_.

When it was over he shuffled off to the side, refraining from the chatter that usually happened after rehearsals. He texted Basil to ask if he was outside as he watched Liam scan the room, probably for him. His phone started ringing and he picked up immediately when he saw it was Basil. Just as he started talking he saw Liam notice him and start walking towards him.

“Hey Bas, what’s up? You outside?” he asked rather frantically.

“Uh, I sort of figured you’d go home with Liam like you always do?” he replied, making it more of a question than a statement.

“Oh, uh, no, I’m not – uh, when could you be here then?” Niall stuttered out, keeping track of Liam still advancing towards him in his peripherals.

“I’d say about twenty minutes,” he answered. Niall said okay and hung up, huffing in a bit of annoyance. It wasn’t Basil’s fault, it was usually safe to assume that Niall would go home with Liam after rehearsals. But today was an extenuating circumstance. And Liam was suddenly right next to him and he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“What was that about, Ni?” he asked, just as sweet as ever.

“Uh, just Bas. Kind of forgot to pick me up, so –”

“I’ll take you home!” Liam interrupted, “Text Basil and tell him. There’s no sense in him coming all the way out here when I’m already here.”

Niall thought for a second but couldn’t come up with any legitimate reasons as to why he shouldn’t take the ride home from Liam. “Uh, yeah sure,” he said, shooting off a quick text to Basil and telling him he didn’t need a ride after all. He followed Liam out the back door to his car and hopped in the passenger seat.

To say the ride was uncomfortable would probably be an understatement. Liam tried valiantly to keep a conversation, but it couldn’t have been easy with Niall only supplying nods and one-word replies. He didn’t give up, still trying to coerce Niall into talking when they pulled into his drive.

“You wanna hang out for a bit?” Liam asked, looking bashful. It broke Niall’s heart to say no to him, but he figured it would be easier on both of them for him to say no now and take some time to be alone instead of accidentally blurting out his feelings and going through a painful and awkward rejection.

“I would, but I’m beat. Didn’t sleep too well, gonna take a nap,” he muttered. He could tell Liam was trying to school his expression into something neutral but he still saw the clouds that overtook his face.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded, probably a little too fast. “Thanks for the ride, Li,” he added as he got out and shut the door. He didn’t look back as he half-ran to his door. When he was finally in the house he flopped down on the couch and tried to find some reason not to cry.

All of the sudden his door was being opened and he popped up to find Liam walking into the room. “Okay, Niall, you’ve gotta tell me what’s wrong. We’re best friends. We tell each other when something’s wrong,” he stated.

“Liam, nothing’s –”

“No, don’t lie to me. I know you’re not just tired because you’ve been avoiding me all day and you look like you’re on the verge of tears,” Liam interrupted. And that’s what did it for Niall. He knew he couldn’t keep anything from Liam for long, the boy knew him too well. The best he could do was deliver the news gently and hope Liam would be just as wonderful and understanding as he always was.

“Um, well, I guess I’ve kind of been off all week because I finally figured out something that I probably should’ve realized a while ago,” he started, taking Liam’s nod as a go-ahead to continue. “I’m, uh, well, I like you. _Like you_ like you. Probably in love with you, actually. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I just –”

“Niall,” Liam tried, but Niall cut him off.

“Just let me finish, okay?” Liam looked like he wanted to say something but just nodded. “Alright, so you should know that you’re my best friend in the whole world and I don’t want to screw that up just because I fell for you. I understand if you feel awkward or whatever and don’t want to hang out for a while but it’d be really great if we could just pretend this never happened. Because you’re the best person in my life and I really can’t lose you just because I fucked up,” he finished, belatedly realizing that he was crying a bit. Liam took a deep breath and reached his hand up to wipe away some of the tears with his thumb.

“Niall Horan, where in the world did you get the idea that I’m not in love with you?” Niall blanched at that, so Liam smiled and continued. “I’ve probably been in love with you since day one, to be honest. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of showing it, too. For god’s sake, Nialler, I’ve said I wanted to date you in every interview since X-Factor. I’m practically all over you all the time. You have a key to my flat, Ni. You’re the only one I trust with everything. We spend the night in the same bed all the time. I take you on dates like once a month. I come to you for everything. I have to physically stop myself from staring at you all the time, especially during concerts. I’m so in love with you, Niall. Always have been.”

Niall couldn’t move. His brain couldn’t process the words right. He just stood there blinking up at Liam’s puppy-dog eyes and trying to figure out if this was some bizarre dream.

“You like me?” he asked, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Yes, Niall,” Liam smiled back.

“Not just like a brother? Or a friend? You’re _in love_ with me?”

“Yes. I, Liam James Payne, am one hundred percent in love with you, Niall James Horan. I want to be with you all the time. I want to hold your hand and take you on dates and kiss you and be your best friend. I love you _and_ like you.”

Niall exhaled, feeling that horrible fear in the pit of his stomach deflate and transform into something bubbly and light. “I love you and like you back,” he whispered back. Liam closed his eyes for a second before smiling the biggest, brightest smile Niall had ever seen. It was breathtaking and contagious, Niall couldn’t help but lean up and press his lips to Liam’s.

“I love you, oh my god, I’m sorry I’m such an idiot. We could’ve been doing this for _years_ ,” Niall muttered in between kisses.

“It’s fine, we’re here now. I love you so much,” Liam replied, hushing Niall softly and letting his hands roam down Niall’s sides before landing on his hips. Niall wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and held on for dear life. The bubbly thing in his stomach was pulling him up towards the ceiling and he might’ve floated away if Liam wasn’t there to ground him. He felt warm everywhere Liam was touching him, but it wasn’t scorching or overwhelming. It was a gentle heat that washed over him and felt like stepping into the sunshine. He yelped slightly as Liam picked him up suddenly, moving his hands under his thighs to support him. He was busying himself with a rather nice mark at the base of Liam’s neck when Liam stepped them both into his bedroom and immediately broke into laughter. His eyebrows drew together in confusion until he looked up and remember what a complete and utter _mess_ he’d made of his room.

“D’you know what the best part of being in love with your best mate is, Liam?” Niall asked as Liam gently lowered him to the ground. Liam raised an eyebrow at him in response. “The best part,” he continued, “is that they don’t judge you for the state of your room. Especially when the only reason the room is in such a state is because you couldn’t decide on an outfit to wear out with him.”

“Okay, one: we went out two days ago, you had plenty of time to clean. Two: you shouldn’t ever worrying about impressing me with clothes, you look hot in everything. And three: I know you’re not generally a messy person, Niall. I’ve practically lived in your pocket for years, I know it’s a not exactly a cluttered place,” Liam laughed back.

“See, this is a great start to our relationship. It shows me that you accept me and it shows you that you should always keep your expectations for me as low as possible,” Niall joked, hurrying to throw all of the clothes on his bed into a pile on the floor.

“You’re not gonna fold those?” Liam asked, nodding his head to the discarded clothes.

“Kind of have more pressing matters on my hands here, Payno,” he replied. With that, he grabbed Liam and attempted to maneuver him onto the bed. Liam huffed a bit under his breath but went with it, plopping down and pulling Niall on top of him. He kissed Niall again, bringing his hands up to tilt Niall’s face in just the angle he wanted it. Niall could’ve been content to lay around all day and night snogging lazily, but when Liam rolled his hips up _just_ right he really couldn’t help himself. He moaned aloud the next time and Liam pulled his mouth away to bury his face in Niall’s neck, groaning just a bit.

“You like it when I get loud, yeah?” Niall teased, knowing he was being a little shit but not really caring. Liam just nodded into the crook of his neck before turning them so Niall was flat on his back with Liam braced above him. Niall completely let go, not bothering to try to hide or muffle his sounds as Liam rid them both of their shirts and started in on his sweats.

“Should’ve known you’d be loud like this,” Liam chuckled. “Probably should’ve known it would be hot as hell, too.”

“Everything I do is hot as hell, Liam.” Liam shook his head fondly and finally got both of their pants off. Niall took a second to appreciate the view. He’d always found Liam attractive, of course, but he’d never seriously thought he would ever get to see Liam like this. When he’d had his fill he looked up to find Liam’s eyes raking over him, never lingering in one spot too long. There was a cheeky _like what you see?_ on the tip of Niall’s tongue, but suddenly Liam was back over him and kissing him fast and dirty and he couldn’t think anymore. His hands wandered all up and down Liam’s back before finding themselves tangled in Liam’s hair, pulling him impossibly closer. When Liam rolled his hips this time Niall thought he was going to explode. With all the layers of clothing gone Niall could really feel Liam and he’d never wanted someone more in his life.

“C’mon, Li, let’s get this show on the road before I embarrass myself here.”

“Patience, darling.”

“Patience is for people who don’t have their sexy naked boyfriends on top of them. Lube and condoms are in the second drawer under the socks.” Liam rolled his eyes at him, but he still reached into the drawer to rustle around a bit before pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. He set them to the side as he kissed Niall’s lips once, slowly trailing little pecks down his chest and torso. Niall’s hands went straight to Liam’s hair when Liam pressed a kiss to the side of his hip. The half-groan, half-growl that Liam let out when Niall tugged just a little bit was enough for Niall to tighten his grip just a bit.

Niall gasped when Liam finally made it to his cock, hallowing his cheeks around it for a few seconds before replacing his mouth with his hand. Niall felt teased and on edge in the best way. He could see Liam pouring lube onto his hand, but his breathing still stuttered when he felt a finger circling his hole. Liam opened him up with insane precision, the hand on Niall’s cock never faltering in rhythm even while Niall squirmed. Niall still wasn’t bothering to stop all his noises, moaning and groaning things like _there, right fucking there_ and _so bloody good, Li_ and _oh my god I fucking love you_. When he finally couldn’t take it anymore he gasped out a _ready,_ grabbing the condom and pushing it into Liam’s hand. Liam put it on and leaned back over Niall, hitching his legs up around his waist and leaning in for a kiss before pushing in.

The initial burn was the same as always, a piercing sting that eventually mellowed out into a dull throb. Liam took it slow, cradling Niall’s head in one hand like he was something precious, fragile. Niall focused on Liam’s face as he waited for the pain to subside a bit. Liam looked as gorgeous as ever, with his strong jawline emphasized by a bit of stubble and his big brown eyes dancing in the light of the room. He couldn’t take being this close and not kissing Liam, even for a second, so he tilted his head up and sealed their lips together. They were still kissing when Niall started grinding back, giving Liam the go-ahead to start a slow, punishing rhythm. Liam didn’t stop, picking up the pace a bit when Niall broke the kiss to moan his name loudly. Niall pulled on Liam’s hair and let out little whimpers when he was close. He felt so close to the edge, like all he needed was a little push. Liam sped his hips up even more, leaning down to bite and suck at Niall’s collarbone and that was it. Niall was groaning and half-yelling as he came all over both of their stomachs. Liam looked like a horribly wonderful mixture of turned on and smug, and if Niall hadn’t just come he’d definitely be hard again just from that. When he finally came down he decided it was his turn to be smug.

“You’re so fucking good, Liam, so good to me. You gonna come for me? Gonna let me see you? C’mon Li, let me see you. I wanna see you let go,” he murmured into Liam’s ear, letting his lips brush up against the lobe. Liam came almost immediately, tensing up over him before dropping down slightly. Niall winced just a bit when he pulled out and Liam apologized immediately, kissing the side of his face. They laid there for a while, Niall cradled up next to Liam’s side.

“The boys are gonna fucking hate us on tour,” Liam whispered after a bit.

“Gonna have to find a way to shut me up then, won’t you?” he teased.

“I don’t think there’s a thing on this world that could shut you up, Nialler.”

“Says the guy who just _came_ to the sound of my voice.”

“Right,” Liam agreed sarcastically, “it didn’t have _anything_ to do with the fact that I was fucking you. I lost it because you started throwing around dirty talk.”

“Shove off, you love me. That means you have to deal with me, dirty talk and all. And by the way, I didn’t see you throwing any particularly arousing words out there.”

“I made you come untouched,” Liam replied. Niall tried to argue but found he really couldn’t.

“Fair point. Now carry me to the shower, we gotta get washed up.” Liam rolled his eyes yet again but actually obliged, rolling off the bed, scooping Niall up, and walking them both to the bathroom.

“I’m not saying that I enjoy being carried, but I think this is the start of a beautiful routine. I could get used to nights like this,” he said, meaning every single word. They both stepped into the shower and washed up, their hands roaming and touching each other more than actually cleaning themselves. When they finally toweled off and hopped back into bed Niall felt like he could sleep for years.

“So tomorrow the plan is: morning sex, breakfast, telling all the boys, probably lunch, more sex, dinner, sex again, and then sleep,” Niall decided.

“That’s a big day you’ve got planned. We better rest up,” Liam chuckled. He moved them around so Niall was cradled to Liam’s chest, half on top of him and caged in by Liam’s arms around his middle. It shouldn’t have been nearly as comfortable as it was.

“I love you and like you,” Niall whispered into the miniscule space between them, liking the feel of the words coming off his lips.

“I love you and like you back,” Liam answered, pressing a kiss to Niall’s head. The next couple days would probably be a bit stressful, between telling the boys and starting the tour and probably trying to keep everything under wraps, but for now Niall could really get used to falling asleep like this every night.


End file.
